"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"
This was originally published 9/16/19 to Kaplowitz Media. Cigars.
Wandering Goat Coffee Co.
268 Madison St. Eugene, OR 97402
Purely to be anticipated digs. Un/finished concrete floors. Cool kid warehouse vibe. Industrial & thrift-shop artsy & also there's a goat head mounted behind the counter. A conversation:
ME: What animal is that? (Pointing.)
MY +1: Where are we, again? (Sighing)
ME: Oh, a goat. (Antelope was my first guess.)
Loud chatter and slightly less loud indy folk music. We sit at a heavy laminated wood slab by a window on tall chairs. Other seating arrangements are small wooden rigs occupied by predominately single customers. Chatter's bulk comes from a table in the back corner, all far-off & dingy-distant. Quintessential local-looking artwork hangs around the more dimly lit than one might expect environs.
The outdoor seating is of the picnic tables varietal, a few of them. On one sits a harmonica player who seems quite precious in the warm-ish rain; situated next to railroad tracks. Smelling rather badly even there in the great PNW outdoors. Or maybe he just looks like an odor. I digress & begin anew, now in the past tense.
The double shot was a seemingly quite short pull, but on the bright side, the pierced & flanneled barista dismissed my doubts prior to allowing me to fully voice them. Abruptly-so, see? Curt, dismissive. An eye-roll so hard as to be loud. Big ding in customer service, there/that. Something surely was amiss, tho --
& perhaps if she wasn't above my silly questioning... Heavily acidic espresso. Heavily. Acidic. Bitingly so. Battery acidic. A dash or three of salt gets added and then it just laid there on the back of my tongue for some time. 'Some' to be read as 'an oddly long amount of.' Lemony, medicinally. Abrasive. Wholly yucky.
Bitterness lagged behind sour acidity in such a way as to not offer more than a thin wisp of maybe baking chocolate. No pepper nor spice to speak of and very scant if any gettable sweetness. No nuts, no woods. Nada. Notes of Listerine & regret. This Wandering Goat abortion of a double shot was left mainly unfinished.
FINAL GRADE: F
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59