Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Kaplowitz Radio. EP169 Postshow Vlog "Ruby Vondella"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



LISTEN to the full podcast episode at: https://bit.ly/39rv3fX

MORE Kaplowitz Media.: https://bit.ly/2WREaDP 

HERE, I lovingly pet my very cute mini doxie for about 5mins. Aaahhhhhh. So nice. Calm. yw

::: very :::

Monday, March 30, 2020

Kaplowitz Radio. EP169 "Idioms & Idiots"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



How 'real' are these cigar vHerfs? When will IPCPR/PCA cancel their big trade show? Also, define 'essential.' All that, and well, that might be about it.

NOTE: a cigar-heavy ep., but you know. Here's a link to the Kaplowitz Media. Cigars site for all interested. https://bit.ly/2JogjDT & don't worry. Coffee will take turns in being the biggie. thx

More Kaplowitz Radio.: https://bit.ly/2VXZ3Nb

Friday, March 27, 2020

Bean to Brew Podcast Series EP3 | Coffee Brewing & Tasting

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



I'm joined again by Ken Fletcher of Paper Tiger Coffee Roasters. This final installment of the Bean to Brew trilogy sees us discuss various brewing methods & how to properly taste the results. thx

Paper Tiger Coffee: papertigercoffee.com
More Beans to Brew: https://bit.ly/2TpWUYX

::: very :::

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Sugar Creek Coffee Roasters Nail on the Head in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Sugar Creek 
Nail on the Head

ORIGIN: --
VARIETAL: --

PROCESS: --
BREW METHOD: French Press
INTENSITY: Medium-Full

WEBSITE: www.sugarcreekcoffee.com

NOTES:
Chocolate | Vanilla bean | Blueberry muffin

Smooth, smoky, & sits in the belly like a nice meal. Sits in the cup w/ a flat finish, brick-red rim. Blueberry muffin is there on the earthy aroma. OK. Chocolate is lettuce say a center square of brownie; dense but well structured; carrying inherent complexity & nuance. This blend is much about that chocolate.

Vanilla bean ebbs & flows in its independence from that chocolate. At times spinning into a bar of semi-sweet chocolate, at other times gravitating toward blueberry. Blueberry is rock sugar topped muffin-like. I said (most of) that already. This speaks to flavor & body. Undertones are predominantly sweet: nougat, butterscotch --

elements of an earthen core. That earth is putting soil rich & airy-breathable. Quite nicely structured, again... this time I speak to the entire profile. Delineated notes, say. But also excellent inter-play. Finish is chocolatey earth with a slight wooden bracing offering a tick of cleansing astringency. Oak. Moderate legs. Balance is excellent but could do w/ more savoriness. All told, an excellent rendition of classic joe. Humbly impressive, somehow blue-collar in its determination.

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Monday, March 23, 2020

Tinker Coffee Co. Aproeco Peru in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Tinker Coffee
Aproeco Peru

ORIGIN: Moyobamba, San Martín
VARIETAL: Caturra, Paches, Catimor

PROCESS: Washed
BREW METHOD: French Press
INTENSITY: Medium

WEBSITE: www.tinkercoffee.com

NOTES:
Red velvet cake | Borage* honey | Tart cherry

Smooth. smoky not quite roasty. But first -- sits in the cup w/ brick red underneath & nice sheen over-top. Dark but airily. Some oaken nuttiness on the aroma. Walnut shells, slightly. Now, (to elaborate) smooth... but a bit thin. Unplayed notes a la jazz? Maybe just hollow. Primary notes go unchanged. Oak sidles up to sip, cools into some lesser smokiness.

Those unplayed notes are predominately in the undertones/middlings. No spices attach to wood. No malt to honey. No new depths to chocolate... an in& out tart cherry does play well near there till it begins to dominate the profile, wholly. Not bad structure really, just makes for untethered overtones -- lack of nuance. Not a lot greater complexity. Some imbalance. 

Undertones are a distant cherry cola light earthiness. Finish is sorta that, tartly. Body trails flavor in a wobbly fashion. Not a bad brew, one that might do well in sharpening/brightening a blend. Ends in a sanitized kitchen counter kind of clean.

*"Herbal and floral bouquet with hints of cucumber and orange pekoe tea. Sugary aftertaste. Delicate and silky textures. Slow to crystallize." - www.grampashoney.com

FINAL GRADE: B-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

Kaplowitz Radio. EP168 "The Gambler"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



A dramatic reading of "The Gambler," a little ditty by Don Schlitz made famous by one Kenny Rogers.

More Kaplowitz Radio.: https://bit.ly/2VXZ3Nb

::: very :::

Friday, March 20, 2020

Paper Tiger Coffee Roasters Ethiopian Guji in (P)review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Paper Tiger
Ethiopian Guji

ORIGIN: Guji, Ethiopia
VARIETAL: --

PROCESS: Natural
BREW METHOD: Pour-over

INTENSITY: Mild

WEBSITE: papertigercoffee.com

NOTES:
Grapefruit | Balsa wood | Black tea



Videography: Snack Tray

Look for a full & written review of this offering SOON.

::: very :::

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Kaplowitz Media. Programming Note: LIVE on Facebook

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



Gentlepersons,

The world is on LOCKDOWN. ok, we're "social distancing" & predominantly doing-so at home. We've gone to (varying degrees) the mattresses. This includes much of the cigar & coffee industries. You know, the bread & butter of #KM.

With all that involves in mind, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Furthermore, Kaplowitz Media. has been on the record as "we ain't canceling shit." But there's more. More what? MORE CONTENT. What's this content? It's Facebook exclusive content.

Kaplowitz Media. will be LIVE on its Facebook page daily at 5pm PDT. Seven days a week. TIll the Coronavirus clears or kills us all. I'm doing this for a pair of what I consider to be excellent reasons.

1. we need to do/be something/where in a format that allows entertainment & camaraderie. A reprieve. Tune in & chat w/ me or with other Gentlepersons. Tune in & watch me prattle on, boy-O. Topics are open to suggestions and/or my whim. No religion; no politics.

2. Kaplowitz Media. is bracing for (even further) austerity. w/ its covered industries closing up shop, DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF EVERYTHING. To that end, I'll be accepting donations which don't put viewers in a bind, & also looking for companies (coffee & cigar) to sponsor individual or bunches of these episodes.

Below are pertinent links:

Kaplowitz Media. on Facebook: www.facebook.com/KaplowitzMedia

Donations --
PayPal: www.paypal.me/kaplowitz
CashApp: $KaplowitzMedia

Potential sponsors should HMU here: kaplowitzmedia@mail.com

We will get thru this TOGETHER, Gentlepersons. Not all of us, of course. Prob most, tho.

Best to you & yours,

-Kap

Sugar Creek Coffee Roasters Weight in Gold in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Sugar Creek
Weight in Gold

ORIGIN: Blend
VARIETAL: --

PROCESS: --
BREW METHOD: French Press

INTENSITY: Medium-Full

WEBSITE: www.sugarcreekcoffee.com

NOTES:
Dark Chocolate | Prune | Pumpernickle 

Orangey & cloudy to the greezy eye-balling. Terry's Milk Chocolate Orange to the nosing; very earthy, darkly. Ima drink it now k? Sweet roasty earthen notes. Dark grains, leathery oils. Bigly chocolate with a seasoned wood attachment all its own. Prune, plum. Plum, prune. Tastes like it could keep you quite "regular." 

Chocolate does dial back via progression-slash-cooling-of. All complexities are churned out from the earthen core. Dark at its center, & lighter on its limbs. Not without brightness but holds a larger spot for inky. Nuances are in each note, pointing to an excellent structure. 

Undertones show some black pepper & tick of cayenne in the throat & finish. Something like a mulling spice hits the cooling cup, then finish. Finish is sweet & dark & moderate+ lengthed. A nice way to jumpstart a morning, this. Or ease into one with a focus, say. 

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Kaplowitz Radio. EP167 Postshow Vlog "Intensity"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



Sorry for the puffy eyes. Allergies are wow. Nevertheless, I talk about replacing "strength" w/ "intensity" in my cigar & coffee reviews. Also, of course, why.

Listen to Kaplowitz Radio. EP167 "Fine" HERE.

More Kaplowitz Television. is HERE.

::: very :::

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Tinker Coffee Co. San Sebastian Colombia in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Tinker Coffee Co.
San Sebastian Colombia

ORIGIN: La Plata, Huila
VARIETAL: Caturra, Colombia

PROCESS: Washed
BREW METHOD: French Press

INTENSITY: Medium

WEBSITE: www.tinkercoffee.com

NOTES:
Chocolate | Nectarine | Sourwood honey*

Bright but also balanced, smooth. Underpinnings of recurring & morphing lemony sour-citrus are tough to put a finger on. Chocolate is a corner brownie thing, up-front & fleetingly. Then a 1/2-shot of blackberry. Then nectarine, crisply. Honey balances citrus well & plays up some complexities. Finish is sweet fruitiness & moderately length'd. No real roasty-toasty delivery additions.

There's a tight core of earthiness, light if not bright & understated af. Fuzzless peach steers & takes sourwood along for the ride. That said, the aforementioned balance is at time sunnily tenuous, but all's well that ends well. Sans nuance. Complex in a lightly-so manner in the berry/stonefruit handing off & transition away from chocolate, on the sip, slurp, & cooling. 

A classic Colombian take, although caramel only hints at coming on & nuttiness stays buried in a honey varietal. Ultimately, not very well-structured/delineated, but refreshingly pleasant in its mellow acidities. Savoriness could be more -- or any. A nice & somewhat jaunty choice for a midday cuppa. 'Tastes great, less filling,' comes to mind.

*"Sourwood Honey is light-colored, delicate honey variety of Honey with a caramel kind of taste. While many find its taste to be sour, its hardcore followers find it to be as sweet and nutty as any other variety of Honey available."  - Dabur.com

FINAL GRADE: B
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Monday, March 16, 2020

Paper Tiger Coffee Roasters Sumatra Mandheling in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Paper Tiger Coffee Roasters

ORIGIN: Sumatra, Grigaya Farm, Mandheling
VARIETAL: --

PROCESS: Washed
BREW METHOD: French Press
INTENSITY: Medium-Full

WEBSITE: papertigercoffee.com

NOTES:
Black walnut | Hickory | Semi-sweet chocolate

Sweetens as it cools, much like me. Nuttiness softens (unlike mine), connects to underneath earthiness. Hickory woodiness is a scorched one w/ a tick of peppercorn, smoothly. Smoky. Semi-sweet chocolate goes harder on its vanilla lilt via progression. The earthiness: dark & rich nigh creamy, somewheres shy of dense, but full. Light 'nuff to show a bit of robust elegance.

Minimalism is elegance. Excellent complexities in chocolate & nutty/earth notes. Moderately nuanced although only in that earthiness. A tick of molasses sets in there. Fennel seed. Dark grains, toasted. Smokiness somewhat wanes but remains. This coffee is a lot like coffee, done quite well. Finish is a lighter-brighter thing than expected -- a bit of black tea added to bittersweet primaries on decent legs.

Aroma adds a bit of leathery oils to the sweet earth schnoz. A tick of melon. The melon-y bent is there in the under-hue. Satin finish. Otherwise coffee-colored. A cuppa for all seasons. Dependable & w/out a bland bracing in its excellent structure. I'd drink a FREEDOM press of it every ding-dang day.

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Kaplowitz Radio. EP167 "Fine"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



Mike joins me here & we talk Jose Blanco joining Arturo Fuente (I believe we failed to touch on his EPC tenure), female crossword puzzle constructors, how to talk to people, & more... Oh & #coronavirus

A heavily cigar-heavy/centric ep. Nevertheless, do you gentlepersons do what I do w/ ground beans? Listen to find out what that is & then comment w/ your response below. Please note that comments have been disabled.

More Kaplowitz Radio.: https://bit.ly/2VXZ3Nb

::: very :::

Friday, March 13, 2020

Bean to Brew Podcast Series EP2 | Coffee Roasting & Home Storage

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



I'm joined again by Ken Fletcher of Paper Tiger Coffee Roasters. This Bean to Brew episode sees us discuss roasting methodology as well as how to store those roasted beans at home. thx

Paper Tiger Coffee: papertigercoffee.com
More Beans to Brew: https://bit.ly/2TpWUYX

::: very :::

Batdorf & Bronson Coffee Roasters Burundi Gahahe in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Batdorf & Bronson
Burundi Gahahe

ORIGIN: Kayanza, Burundi
VARIETAL: Red Bourbon

PROCESS: Natural & fully washed
BREW METHOD: French Press
STRENGTH: Medium

WEBSITE: www.batdorfcoffee.com

NOTES:
Nectarine | Figs | Earth

Nectarine displays in an immediately complex savory manner. Figs. Dates too, underneath. Smoky. Earthiness is a top-to-bottom platform for (respectively): Heavy tropical flowers, equally heavy fruit syrup, a smattering of dark chocolate, wood, mulch. Nuanced af. I already said complex but too, extending beyond the confines of citrus. 

Finishes quite big w/ a pop of baking spices intro'd alongside figs/dates & smokiness. Darkens there. Rich & full then ends delicately & clean. There's excellent brightness in this profile & it casts some shadows, too. Sits visually vivid in the cup w/ a high under-hue of ruddy peach tea. The aroma is a sweet earth leathery thing which can be found on a cool temp'd slurping. 

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Thursday, March 12, 2020

Sugar Creek Coffee Roasters Signature Blend in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Sugar Creek
Signature Blend

ORIGIN: Brazil, Costa Rica, Guatemala.
VARIETAL: --

PROCESS: --
BREW METHOD: French Press

WEBSITE: www.sugarcreekcoffee.com

NOTES:
Black walnut | Dark chocolate | Cherry

Smoky | Toasty. Seasoned hardwood structures well. Smooth peppery kicker. Well-tilled earth, darkly (underbelly). From top-down a cleanly if not crisply delineated delivery. Very. Well. Paced. Simple but not dull or boring. Almost minimalistic but not echo-y. Wide flavorscape filled well by a handful of wide notes.

Not complex but the big notes (smoothly) find nuance in the earthiness of this profile. They just don't dance w/ each other there. That's OK. A sturdy & dependable such as this don't dance. [A bit of pumpernickel comes on into the cooling cuppa.] Leathery aroma w/ the aforementioned smoky | toasty.  Sits in the cup looking all coffee-colored & shit. Glossy finish both visually & palate-wise (primary extension sans cherry + wood, moderate legs).

FINAL GRADE: B
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

Chatting w/ Steve Hall of Tinker Coffee Co. | Podcast Interview by Kaplowitz Media.

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



Apologies for my stuffed nose audio. It's simply allergies & you will not catch the Coronavirus via listening. We talk about Indianapolis coffee culture, cafe layouts, cupping, & roasting.

More from Kaplowitz Radio.: https://bit.ly/39JP4z8
Check out Tinker Coffee Co.: www.tinkercoffee.com

::: very :::

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Kaplowitz Radio. EP166 Postshow "Five Things I Like"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



Listen to the full podcast EP166: https://bit.ly/2v6W2iE

In this addendum, I discuss many a thing but not really anything at all. MUST SEE. thx #KM

::: very :::

Monday, March 9, 2020

Tinker Coffee Co. Kellenso Ethiopia Mekonissa in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Tinker Coffee Co.
Kellenso Ethiopia

ORIGIN: Bule Hora, West Guji
VARIETAL: Guji, Typica, Heirloom

PROCESS: Fully Washed
BREW METHOD: French Press

WEBSITE: www.tinkercoffee.com

NOTES:
Papaya | Apricot | Apple butter

Smoky leathery & high-up sweet-spice aroma. Earthy. Sits in the cup with a nice sheen and fruity under-hues. Cools to a nice slight greasy top. Excellent body sans cloying nature. Clean & a tick puckering astringent. A bit of cocoa | salted nutty there.

Autumn spices and a hardwood note hold structure well; hoisting from upper-middlings. Excellent delineation gate-to-wire. Fruit notes are bright but tethered quite nicely to dense earth, compost. Not fly-away flighty as w/ some Ethiopians. Anchored & in turn nuanced. Tea leaves flit about in the middling which mainly seep down in gentle complexities, depths.

Cup cools in a surprisingly meaty-manner. Savory. Plush leathery. Fruits tropically darken ripen. Still, a brightness stays... even more complex here. Touch of black pepper. A quick-footed light heavyweight of a profile... perhaps a plodding welterweight. A boxer/puncher. A knockout blend.

FINAL GRADE: A
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Kaplowitz Radio. EP166 "Sourdough Starter"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"

LISTEN click HERE where you can also find links to this & more from Kaplowitz Radio. on Apple & Google Podcasts, Spotify, & several other platforms. thx

In this podcast episode of Kaplowitz Radio., I talk about sourdough starter & bread baking, how sex sells, and my feels re: different media platforms. #KM

More Kaplowitz Radio.: https://bit.ly/3aypqgW

::: very :::

Friday, March 6, 2020

Batdorf & Bronson Coffee Roasters Single Origin Java Jampit Estate in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Batdorf & Bronson
Java Jampit Estate

ORIGIN: Indonesia
VARIETAL: Typica, Ateng, Jember

PROCESS: Fully washed
BREW METHOD: Pour-over

WEBSITE: www.batdorfcoffee.com

NOTES:
Cocoa | Dandelion | Marzipan

& mulling spices. Some black tea astringency. Laid out mainly evenly. Mostly flat. Lacking structure. A bit of nice lesser than common flavors although they bleed together some in a lack of delineation. The way I wrote that last sentence was to make a point. Middlings are pungent but consisting mainly of a trickling down from primaries & notes pushing up from the underbelly. 

Compost, topsoil (underbelly, that is). Compressed. Middlings are compressed. Slurping amps up the cocoa & intros a peppercorn. As the cup cools, there's a move from toasty savoriness to a more plush sweetness. Either way, lip-smacking also kinda tart puckery, particularly on the long-legged finish. 

/// Aroma is that of chocolate bread. Eyeballs in the mason jar to a brick-reddish hue. The profile keeps you on your toes in anticipation -- then doesn't deliver as big as the lead-up. Still worth the tasting, tho.

FINAL GRADE: B+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Bean to Brew EP1 | Coffee Growing Regions and Processing

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



Ken Fletcher of Paper Tiger Coffee Roasters takes us step-by-step through creating the perfect cup. We start here w/ growing regions & processing beans. Stay tuned for more entries in this Kaplowitz Media. journey. thx

Paper Tiger Coffee: papertigercoffee.com
More Beans to Brew: https://bit.ly/2TpWUYX

::: very :::

Sugar Creek Coffee Roasters Panama Gesha in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Sugar Creek
Panama Gesha

ORIGIN: Panama
VARIETAL: Gesha

PROCESS: ?
BREW METHOD: Pour-over

WEBSITE: www.sugarcreekcoffee.com

NOTES:
Tropical fruits | Floral | Earthiness

Sits densely dark in the cup with just a tick more sheen than a flat finish. Matte? Let's not get bogged down. Coffee-colored. When it cools, a nice greaz floats up, forms. No highlights. A sourdough scent pushes ahead a fruity-floral nosing. That sourdough hits quick on the sip, clings to the finish. 'Tween that is all fruity dried candied stuffs (papaya, apricot) w/ tropical floral (hibiscus) additions. Sweet, sweet flowers in rays of Ra.

But the core. It's a tightly spun thing of roasty & slightly smoky earthiness. Top-soil. A bit of a peppery kicker (black). A goodly amount of flavors -- a TON of flavor. Bold, robust, & also smooth as silk. Even with a tick of astringency on the cheeks, it remains supple. Kind. &&& also impressive af. Gesha, if you've not had, will... well, try it. "BOOM," as the kids say if they still say that.

Incredibly impeccably complex. Happenings! and all well-rehearsed. The well-structured core pulls all the notes in, causing almost dramatic nuances. Sip it first for a half cuppa's worth, then slurp --- and the eyes pop again. Anise & poppy seeds. Dark chocolate shavings. Crissakes & zoinks.

FINAL GRADE: A+
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59

::: very :::

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

[Rebroadcast] Kaplowitz Radio Special: "Bean to Brew" w/ Ken Fletcher of Paper Tiger Coffee Roasters

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"

This was originally 'aired' 12/11/19 at Kaplowitz Media. Cigars.

In the works is a Kaplowitz Radio. podcast series with myself & Paper Tiger's Ken Fletcher, which will further dissect the 'bean to brew' journey. In the meantime, give a listen to the said upcoming series's essentially pilot episode by clicking play below. thx

EDIT (3/6) HEre is the Bean to Brew episode index: https://bit.ly/2PUgqe0



::: very :::

Monday, March 2, 2020

Kaplowitz Radio EP165 "Back in Slack"

"Have you Kaplowitz'd to-day?"



I shake off the ring rust of my yearly two week hiatus to talk up the new #KM coffee blog. I also smoke a Pura Soul cigar & drink a cuppa from Batdorf & Bronson Roasters.

::: very :::

Sunday, March 1, 2020

Batdorf & Bronson Coffee Roasters Single Origin Guatemala "El Volcan" in Review by Kaplowitz Media.

“Have you Kaplowitz’d to-day?”

Batdorf & Bronson Coffee Roasters 
Single Origin Guatemala "El Volcan"
100% certified organic

ORIGIN: Acatenango (Antigua) Guatemala
VARIETAL: Caturra, Catuai

PROCESS: Fully washed
BREW METHOD: French Press

WEBSITE: www.batdorfcoffee.com

NOTES:
Chocolate soda | Salted caramel | Citrus zest. 

As it rounds out, chocolate soda marries with a thin Nutella quality cut from cloying via a grapefruit/orange tick. Salted caramel is salted caramel & the note chugs straight thru offering dimension not distraction. It structures body & finish quite well, while not being overt. As the cup cools, a leathery savoriness comes into view and aide in that task.

A bit of dark earthy black tea & pepper rounds out the middling on a red/purple underbelly of anise tinged compost. Brightly medium-bodied, carrying well-balanced & neatly delineated roasted notes. Excellent balance. Aroma? Roasted sweet earth fruitiness. Mixed berry, there. Brew itself sits dark & clear in the cup, with a brick-reddish under-hue collecting around its rim. 

Quite complex. Nuances are lesser-so due to that briskly cleansing citrus & saltiness. Ends as clean as to make you believe you perhaps forgot to drink your cup. I remembered because I'm writing about it. Also, if you can't find your car keys, check your fridge. Succinctly? A smoothly exciting later in the day pick-me-up or aperitif of an offering. 

FINAL GRADE: A-
A 90-100 B 80-89 C 70-79 D 60-69 F 0-59